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Soon it is the night before we set off for the retreat. I pack quickly, absentmindedly throwing in everything. I accidentally throw in a pack of rubbers, and then think, what the hell, I don’t have time to take them out, I’ll just leave them.****Pastor Cal’s house.‘‘Margo! What are you doing packing this bathing costume?!’ Her father demands, holding up the one-piece accusingly.‘I--um, ‘ Margo gulps at his accusation, confused. ‘It’s the most chaste bathing costume I have, Daddy, ‘ she replies, twisting her hands together nervously.Cal throws his hands up in the air.‘That’s exactly my point! Here, take this one.’ He rummages through her drawer and comes up with a dark red bikini made of mesh, the only solid fabric over the nipples and crotch.‘Daddy! I can’t bring that, they’ll think I’m a ... slut.’ Margo blushed hotly. ‘Besides, I never knew you knew I had that! I never even intended to wear it.’‘You’ve worn it before, ‘ Cal contradicted her. ‘Especially when you have some alone. You have two men who acceptyou as Patricia. And Patricia has at least one girlfriend she can go outand do things with, possibly have a relationship with."I just sat and listened as Dr. Jenkins spoke. He spoke as one who is notused to being interrupted does, much like one of his lectures. Except thislecture was my life. "Pain and confusion aside - to paraphrase one of ourex-leaders - you have to ask yourself 'Are you better off now than youwere?' I would say yes. Your pledge task has created an environment wherePatricia can live and move about and establish relationships. Isn't thatreally, what you've always wanted. But it's never going to be easy. Lifeisn't."I declined his offer for another soda, and thanked him profusely andsincerely for his time. He had been a great help, and I did feel slightlybetter.***When I got back to my apartment, I was determined not to feel sorry formyself. I picked the phone up immediately and called Kim. Kim sounded alittle surprised to hear my voice. We.
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